Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
whose ass print is on the piano?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
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