I'm pants shitting drunk right now
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
