And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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