i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
