She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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