I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
