tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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