3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
