I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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