my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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