Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Randomize
