what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
