I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
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