Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
