She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
