Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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