I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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