Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
God, I missed his penis.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
