Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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