JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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