Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
