i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Randomize
