He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Randomize
