Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
