real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
