ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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