used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
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