Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
