Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
