we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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