The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
