you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
