So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
