the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
