gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
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