my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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