Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
