She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
