Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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