I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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