I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
