My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize
