my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I need to wash the frat house off of me
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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