I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
No subtext here. People are naked.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
