There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Im part way to drunk.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
