She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Randomize
