She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
