I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
