I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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