just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
